One day the Apostles came to Jesus with cell phones and asked Jesus if he wanted to be part of their family network. Jesus said he would think about it. For the next weeks Jesus’ sermons were interrupted by Jewish ringtones. And, although the apostles claimed to be taking notes during Jesus’ sermons, some appeared actually to be listening to music. Why else the ear buds? Once when Jesus was praying in an olive orchard, the apostles started checking their facebook stuff instead of praying. On a different occasion when Peter was trying to walk across some water to Jesus, he got a call, got distracted, and started to sink.
The final indignity came when Jesus called out in a sermon, “Let those who have ears to hear, hear.” The Apostles had been on their phones and hadn’t quite heard what Jesus had previously proclaimed. They began asking each other if Jesus had really said that the cheese makers were blessed. Then Jesus collected the Apostles’ phones and threw them into the Valley of Gehenna. He told them they could never enter the Kingdom of God if they were cellfish and their phone was the center of their life.
Somehow this story never got recorded in the Christian Scriptures
Next week the apostles play football, Jesus’ mouse stays behind, and we pray sacramentally.
bridgingthegaplessgap 
“Blessed are the cheesemakers.”
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